This morning on the walk to school our boy
told me he loves it when it’s Father’s Day, because he doesn’t have to do
anything and can enjoy ‘free play’ while the other children make cards. I
reminded him that on Mother’s Day he has to work extra hard and make two cards
while everyone else makes one. He slapped his forehead and said, ‘oh yeah, I
forgot about that.’
Our two adopted children have lived with my
partner and I for three years now and I can honestly say that we haven’t
received one single bit animosity or non-acceptance. Not even so much as a
‘tut’ when we walk by. We genuinely forget that we are any different to any
other family and I often describe us as a very ‘conventional non-conventional’
family, in that are probably a bit boring. We play in the park, we go out for
dinners, we go to museums and we try to remember to get more use out of our
National Trust membership every year. So far so very, very normal.
We genuinely found the whole adoption process
to be quite wonderful. We never felt we were treated any differently or ever
made to feel awkward. Ironically, the one person who did make us feel
uncomfortable was another gay man on the training course. He made a snide comment
during an exercise we did on how people fit into the world, insinuating that it
would be hard for us to be accepted in our community. Well, he got that wrong.
Of course, when the children started bringing
friends home for tea we got a lot of questions. Such as, ‘Where is your dad?’ ‘Why
don’t you live with them?’ ‘Where did you live before?’ It went on and on. But
we just answered them calmly, honestly and without any fuss. When children have
questions they just want answers they can understand. There is nothing unusual
about my family to everyone that knows us. I am friends with many of the mums
in the playground. I go on school trips to help out. I work with the PTA
putting on fundraising events. I embarrassed our children at the school
Halloween party by dressing up in a hideous outfit, because that’s what parents do.
From the very first phone call to the Local
Authority Adoption Team to our family day in court, our adoption experience has
been as close to magical as you can get. Every year we look forward to going to
the adopter’s picnic to say hello to the lovely people who helped put our
family together. Our children are happy. They get treats. They get told off.
They get everything you would want children to have. And they get all of this
from their two mums. Shame on anyone who thinks they shouldn’t.
